kiss 1


I’ve kind of have been feeling down lately, about my life
Since I moved out of my parents home, things have not been going smoothly in the least bit, everything from where I moved to, no longer being friends with someone I thought was dear friend. Everything except my health has kind of sucked. The thing that bugs me the most about this is that, I cant even do things to help people because I’m so fucking broke.
for example my hair is now seventeen inches long: I want to cut off and donate it to locks of love, but I can’t since I don’t have the money to pay for a haircut
I cant even do something nice for some one else, because I’m so broke.

Once again Computers try to take me down..

Once again Computers try to take me down..

So my computer crashed at lest five times today. no real reason it has a fan blowing on to keep cool and
 i wasn't even doing thing to draining just surfing the web to find some impulse, robin. superboy
fan comics and cute moment between the three

when she crashed for the millionth time since this april- yes my computer is a girl cause only a girl
be this bitchy and temperamental. only this time she did something new

right before she crashed a window pooped up saying i needed to reinstall windows, this is a problem cause
when i was given this computer it didn't come with a windows disk, and then it crashed and now when i restarted
it loads my password screen and the screen goes black and said my windows isn't an authorized

i thought i would be angrier but i think ive just hit my limit on how frustrated i can be at 3 something in the morning
and my computer just doesn't want to work

...........and i feel i only use my L ivejournal to update the negative things with my life
young advengers wiccan hulking

So today I was fired…

So today I was fired…

Not  From my  good, job that I’ve had for several years

But from a side project I was working on, around April I was contacted by this guy who through a work friend  named David whom I haven’t spoken to in years, David  recommended me for my very first comic book  as the soul artist.

This was kind of bad time for me, I was trying to work out where I was going to live because I couldn’t stay with parents to much longer cause they hated me being there, on top of this my boss was thinking about moving a few thousand miles away and pressuring me to go with him, even though I lacked the money to do so, but in the end my Ego got the best of me and I really wanted to do my own book.

Now this summer , lots of things happen, 1) I moved to Nj since my boss was telling me was going to look for a place in Brooklyn  2) my  Boss moved 25 minutes closer to my parents after I moved away. 3) I and my Boss pregnant wife packed 90% of all his things 4) my boss went away for almost two months leaving me to unpack all his things. 5) My computer started to crash every ten minutes.

I sat down with this guy and showed him layouts; off his script that was really lacking in descriptions sat down talked about everything and busted my butt to give him 5 pages in a week. He sent me notes on changes that need to be done on the said pages, and when I went to get paid he gave me a letter saying they didn’t want to use the pages I had, in a way that said I want you to fallow layouts from a guy he is friends with who made some more detailed version of the script the thing is this guy doesn’t know what he’s doing , storytelling was off pacing was bad, so I had for a second time had to do lay outs  that takes a two days at least (for crappy ones), I then spent four hours  going over every detail of the book so we both on the same page. I started to really hate this book the more I worked on it.

I explained to him that was very busy, that my other job was steadier and I was pretty much doing this as a favor to David, at the time had been working long hours doing both jobs and was having trouble sleeping, due to stress and all the muscles in my back tightening do all the moving and crappy bed and  I only had 20 dollars in my bank account since my other boss forgot to send me my paycheck three times, now here is the thing I wanted to be done with this project in August, that didn’t happen this was mostly due to my stress levels and a lack of motivation  on the project, the Key here is that he told me it need to be done by the end of December, the thing I need to stress about my field is that if you don’t  say this  needs to be in by July 9th at 4:15 in the afternoon, 9 out of 10 times that means you are not getting it until a minute before July tenth , end of August was my goal not his. I then shot for September, that didn’t happen.

Every time I said something his guy got a smile on his face that clearly said, he didn’t want me to be any part of this project, this guy kept saying he was the Talent and I was just a tool to get the project done, I won’t go into detail on everything this guy did to drive me crazy, but in the end my friends kept telling me I should Quit that this wasn’t worth the money

So he sent me a Email today saying I missed two deadlines , and that I was no longer on said project, he then said this very passive aggressive thing about being disappointed  in the time wasted and  won’t bring it up if we see one another at party and I’ll be getting a kill fee for pages done .

I sent him a response, saying I was confused as the deadline was December , if he wanted me off the project fine,  that I’m a professional, this is not something would bring up at a party we had a business arrangement that didn't work out,  and I was insulted that he would imply I would. I explained that I got the distinctive impression that he didn’t like what brought to the table.  And I also explained when I signed up for this book I was promised a lot more freedom with the book and that was taken from me. I sent him well wishes and hoped that the next person he works with will be on the same page since we clearly weren’t.

Things I learned….

Doing your own book from start to finish is hard. 

       I know that doesn’t really need to be said, but I defiantly learned that even if I do a good chunk of my boss work as a ghost, there is still a lot he does

 Just because you really want something to work out, even if you push yourself to the brink, sometimes it’s not meant to be.

               I really wanted this to work out not just for the money but I really wanted my name on a book, I knew the story in the book wasn’t that great but I wanted to have a book to show around and get my foot in the door.

You can’t reason with a brick wall 

                  Again something I know I should have known, but over and over again I tried telling myself wile I whined and complained  about having to re do a lot of the work, this guy was set in his ways and what he wanted and that was it.

I need to be better at responding..

         I’m not sure this was due to my anger toward the man who hired me or my general lack of responding to people who I just don’t want to talk to.

If someone doesn’t know what they are doing, it might be a good idea to not work with them

          I felt like was doing a ton more work then they who came to me to just draw the thing , it’s great that he wanted this so badly, but anything I had to suggest as professional  advice seamed to go in one ear and out the other  

  • Current Mood
    numb numb
sleeping best friends

I take back every single negative word I said about TSUBASA and XXX HOLIC clones

When I was in high school I had a job were I got 40% off any book I bought. this made me by books in Droves since I could get them super cheep for every one who was spending 10 bucks a pop I was spending only six, so I bought a lot..and looking back once I quit the job I had sort off looked at my piles and gave a good chunk of them away, my interest in the anime and manga world sort became a lot less, mostly do to lack of money, cause less face it its not a cheep hobby, but a side from needing money to keep me alive, the very predicable plots and themes that were being translated into English that almost every book had started to make me feel whats the point of me waist my time, it got to the point were I could sit down watch or read and I would know everything about the show and charters in the span of a few mintues. Most of the time I would find lead girls week and they would bother me, and lead males to be to whiny for any ones good.

One of the last manga of the few books I had still tried to keep up with was TSUBASA RESERVOIR CHRONICLE and XXX HOLIC, at first it for two simple reasons.

for the most part I like stories done by clamp, they are usually very thought out, even the sorter books they do have an epic feel to them, and admittedly while I liked there more detailed works such as Clover and X ,there more cartoony style has grown on me I really like the very dramatic use of black in XXX HOLIC. I also like how they treat their creations they have a world they made and use it tying things in small believable ways . They are also the only artist/writers that use grammar to in a way that is beyond compelling, they way things are said are usally more important then how or why they are said. And above all you can tell who their favorite charters are by the very cruel and unusual tortur they put them through, usually involving a lost eye

second reason I stayed with these books was a high school friend of mine really really like Cardcaptors, so once we graduated we agreed we would keep in touch buy sharing these books she would get Tsubasa and would get XXX holic. While this didn't work out as planed I did get most of the both sets eventually.

But I stopped really reading them once the Clones were brought in cause...i really really hate clones

what had drawn me to TSUBASA RESERVOIR CHRONICLE was the happy sadness of the story, a story about a boy who is love with a girl who has lost all memory of him, a young magician who is running as fast and as far as he can from his responsibility , and a warrior on journey to learn what real strength is. Along the journey they had good times bad times..and they the clones happened and not just one. So this lead me to drop the book for a while

I have always been a sucker for 'monster of the week' stories and the is the premise for XXX HOLIC
the dramatic look of the very black or the Very white story telling, the haunting yet mesmerizing shop keeper her cryptic words, the mystery of who the main character was along with the only two people he seamed to know, but most of all I loved the idea of a 'price for everything' that even if someone got what they wanted, they always lost something of equal value. and since this book was something I was a bit more into I actually for gave the clone the clone bit, but what lead me to drop this one was implantation that Watanuki's parent were still alive and well, one of the things I do like about clamp is no matter what is going on if clamp deams it every Character has a happy end even people in a coma have a happy ending. What had bothered me about this was over and over it was cemented that Watanuki's parents were dead, and in a off hand comment It is reviled that that was nothing but a lie. What I had liked about XXX holic seamed to end in an instant. So once again I stopped reading them.

So in the last three days on a whim I went online and finished TSUBASA and caught up with XXX n HOLIC is was surprised I was so close to both end of both I was before I stopped

and I take back every single negative word I said about TSUBASA and XXX HOLIC clones, not only was how they were all used done better then I could have every hoped for, but also the mislead on who both Watanuki and Syaoran parents are was so mind boggling I have honestly never seen or read a reveal half as good as that. That being said I do have to say I felt the general rap up for some of the others in TSUBASA felt a bit sort fai's story line for all its build up kinda falls a little flat to me with no down time between, his wrap up and the main story's end. XXX HOLIC on Other hand while I kinda saw it coming in regards to Watanuki and him getting 'wish shop' he price he has to pay pulls me right back in with the happy sad that I love with the story and I cant wait to read more
do not want

Three hour time Zone difference

give or take a month ago my boss who really means the world to me lets me know in a few months he and his wife are going out to LA to work in movies.

he asked me to join him. that is a huge change.

im 23 years old, on a good day i feel 15. most days im like a 12 year that can buy booze. who spends half my day thinking about batman and cartoons. i am not an adult enough to make this life decision that is going to change my life.

ive been in this should i go stay haze for weeks

but over the course of these few weeks ive had to think about this ive come to this conclusion. wait until i know more about where they are going to live, if they still want to do comics if they will let me live with them until i find my own place. things of that nature be for i commit myself to this.

Now this brings me to the point of this entry.


it started with my dad this morning he left me siting in 84 degree weather for over twenty minutes cause he left his cell phone home. mean while since im working this week from my house to my family that means im doing nothting all week and i can stand around for hours waiting for them.

then my boss sends me to his studio to reset his internet connection thats 30 min in the car both fucking ways, while it sucked i need to do that i did that for work.

i walk in the door and my step mom is pissed cause my cat has hair and she leaves it on things when she sits on them..and i need to get the cat to stop..My step mom is a Psycho path. and i know every step kid on the planet say that bout there step parents but im not joking about mine, she latter sent me to bjs today to get snacks for my sister and the fucking exchange students. and literally screamed on the top of her lungs that i bought the wrong ones and i had to go back exchange them right then and there.

BJ's is 45 minutes away.. my car was having issues on the way back from the studio.i bought two huge bags of chip.. her excuse is that a team can't eat out of of a bag. since when the fuck are teenagers to good to eat out of a fucking bowel or a bag???

you know the only thing that makes me feel good when im feeling this shity...that if all goes according to plan there will be Three hour time Zone difference . a five hour plan ride., 11 states. 2,776 miles of solid land between my parents and me
  • Current Mood
    infuriated infuriated
death of agent texas

so my day was rocking

i work up had good breakfast, work we had to go to the mall and blow an hour and i got candy and water and screwed around with the people who work at the apple store and then i got free candy okay and i got the new Gorillaz CD
over all my day kicking
bart allen

Stargate atlantis

over all the show was rocking the one thing i dont like about it was Tayla, im my opinion she was the worst female lead, she talked like was didnt' know what sounds were coming out of her mouth , im all for a smart girl leader of her people but she always seamed to have a self confidence problem when it came to any situation and she never had a range of emotion she always seamed to controlled  and that bug the hell out of me while i wacth it

Lt ford was kick ass and a shame he didnt last long on the program and ronan was a great if not better replacement for his slot.  its a shame he left cause they didnt know what they were going to do with him
kiss 1

i declare

that if i every have children- they will be named after the ninja turtles

i don't care if i have only girls i will name them after the awesomeness that is the turtle power
  • Current Mood
    busy busy